


Drama Aboard the S.S.R. Face.T

by Kat_E_Revel



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: ASMR, Adult Cam AU, Adult Cam Work, Anal Fingering, Exhibitionism, Holiday Shenanigans, I Don't Know What to Tag This as Anymore, I feel like i'm taggin a pornhub vid, I promise there is no incest, Just the weirdest sibling rivalry ever, Masturbation, NSFW, Or is there plot?, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn site AU, Slightly dom reader and slightly sub Dante, The more I write the more it shows that I know nothing about camgirls and boys, anal insertion, blowjob on toy, reader can be any gender, sex toy, striptease, text message/chat log plot, the internet is for porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2020-02-28 15:50:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18759544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_E_Revel/pseuds/Kat_E_Revel
Summary: "Dante", screen name Redleathercowboy69, is a cam star on Beryl's online portal Face.T. You are a member of his fanbase. Your friend, on the other hand, is a fan of some guy call MotivationalPoetV, who uploads mostly safe-for-work ASMR videos and keeps on tagging Dante in them. To say there is a hefty rivalry going on between the two stars and their fans would be an understatement.One day, Dante drops the bombshell: MotivationalPoetV, otherwise known as "Vergil", is his TWIN BROTHER-- whaaaaaaaaaat?





	1. redleathercowboy69

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing I just grabbed my brain and threw it out to outer space can someone get it back for me thanks

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

HE'S DANTE'S TWIN BROTHER

[...ride'emcowgirl is typing]

wha

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

TWIN. BROTHER.

Hold on lemme get a screencap

[aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.jpg]

* * *

 

@MotivationalPoetV: Preview of "I'm Ordering Pizza So We Can Stay Home". Coming tomorrow.

What topping's your favourite? #pepperoni #mushroom #olives

@redleathercowboy69: ew olives ew #ruined

@MotivationalPoetV: Grow up, Dante. You're not five anymore.

@redleathercowboy69: your not mother verge you cant make me

@MotivationalPoetV: But I'm older.

@redleathercowboy69: BY SIX HOURS

@Vmyenthusiasm whaaaaaaaaa???

@Rodeoshow3344 Huuuuuuuuuuhhh...

@ladythebabethebaby geez, guys, it's just pizza

@evaevalgina: Boys, behave...

@redleathercowboy69: yes mother

@MotivationalPoetV: Dante started it.

 

* * *

 

[...ride'emcowgirl is typing]

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA

Impossible

this is a joke right

like camstars are actors too

this is acting

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

lol I wish

That eva woman that commented?

Like I think that's really their mother

There's this picture on her account from X'mas last year or something

and they're both there

[...ride'emcowgirl is typing]

Whaaaaaaaaaa

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

seriously they twins

there's two of them

two hot guys

twins

my thoughts are going places

[...ride'emcowgirl is typing]

They don't even look alike?????

I mean yeah they've both gone prematurely grey and dye their hair silver

but twins????????

wait hold up

[OH MY GOD.jpg]

 

 

* * *

 

@redleathercowboy69: just recieved this new #thong from a fan

impromptu livestream this evening #bringurmonies #sugarhonies

@uwantsomefuk: Is @MotivationalPoetV really your twin???

@redleathercowboy69: ssssshhhhhhh ask nicely during the stream and maybe ill answer xXx

@frustratedgirlofthecarribean: *eyes emoji*

 

* * *

 

You get home late that night after a long day of work. First thing you do, log onto your Face.T account, and click on Dante's channel. He hasn't started just yet, but the cam star was a spontaneous guy. "Evening" could mean anything from 5pm to 11pm with this man, so better have it open just in case he starts while you cook up a quick dinner.

You are half way through your mac and cheese when the cam comes to life. Chat instantly explodes with rows of heart emojis. You add yours in, noticing that your friend, the one who sent you the all caps text this morning, is also on. In fact, seems like half of the MotivationalPoetV's fandom was here. A number of fans from both sides were already spamming "the question".

"Wow, easy there, sugars," Dante purrs, sitting back in his chair, rubbing the stubbles on his chin with a gloved hand. "We've got an entire evening. Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Hair slightly more disheveled than when he was last on, the man crosses his legs. He's wearing something a little different this evening. It is still a red leather coat, but the front part of his chest is entirely black. The vest-like top ends at his waist, showing a skull-faced buckle and red pants with thigh harnesses.

Someone types in chat, asking if this was that old coat he talked about.

"Yeah, this is the one. Thought I'd pull it out for old time's sake, see how it still fits." He stretches to one side. "A little looser than I imagined. Man, did I lose muscle or something? Need to hit the gym more consistantly."

100 tokens are tipped, with a message saying they'd like to see him do push-ups.

"Push-ups? Okay, how many do you want me to do?" Dante's grin widens as he puts his chin on a fist and leaned forward. "I'm seeing sixty, fifteen... a thousand! Ha, a good one. You're gonna keep me here until morning trying to do that."

You type in 100, and for each one past that, you'll pay one token each. Others start pointing to your comment. A few say they'll match it.

"A hundred? Seems doable." Dante stands up, letting the camera capture just how tightly his pants are hugging what's between his legs before kicking the chair aside. He moves further back into the room. "Can you guys see? No? Just a sec, let me move the camera..."

The view of the screen tiltes forward and down, far enough that everyone could see the dark wooden planks of the floors. Dante's bedroom (that is, if he wasn't actually in a studio) is rather simple. Just a four poster bed in the back with red silk sheets, flanked by bedside tables each with red glow lamps. You remember a certain VIP-only session once where he'd invited a dominatrix friend of his on. That session ended with him tied, face up and spread eagle, begging for release as he got pegged into yesterday. It's hard not to be a fan of his after seeing that.

"You guys better keep count because according to someone, I suck at counting," Dante calls as he got onto his knees. Now that is a sight you would not mind seeing more of. "Ready? Here goes! One, two, three..."

You count along, though the hint of his muscles rippling under all that leather made you loose track around thirty-six or seven. Dante steals glances up at the camera, a smirk on his face. At some point, he puts one arm behind his back. Chat explodes with his custom gun emojis.

"A hundred and eight, a hundred and nine..." Welp, guess you're ponying up the dough as promised. He gets to a hundred and sixteen before struggling and collapsing. "Man, I feel old. I swear I used to be able to do two hundred in a row." Dante shakes the one arm as he walks back and regretably pushes the camera back up, away from pointing downward towards his crotch.

You pay up, adding a kiss emoji in the message. So did several others.

"Aw, thanks honies." He blows a kiss right back at the cam before sitting down. "Now, is it getting hot in here or what? I'm sweating buckets in here." He leans back, throwing an arm over his head while the other went up to his coat zipper. Dante was a tease alright, but not in the slow kind of way. Rather, it was the way he acted like he didn't know that your eyes were glued on his body that drove people insane.

The coat unzips, quick as a flash, showing the world that there was no shirt underneath. Dante puffs his chest out, clentching his muscles such that the outlines of his pectoral cleavage and abs are clearly visible. He is close enough that even the lower resolution monitors will be able to see his chest hair and snake trail.

Someone comments that they want to lick him."Getting hungry there. I like that." Dante laughs. "Anything else I can serve you this evening? Keep feeding me the sugars and honies, and I'll keep it coming." He grabs his belt with both hands and hikes his pants even higher. The motion loosened his coat even more, exposing more of his neck and shoulders. Tips, tokens in the single digits, quickly came pouring in. Dante eases his coat completely apart until the whole of his chest is exposed.

Gods, the way he looks at the camera the whole time, like how he doesn't care at all, is maddening.

"So how are you this fine evening? Been thinking of me at all?" Dante puts one of his legs up on the arm of his chair, putting himself in a side-slouch. "I know I've been thinking of you. Really thinking of you." From somewhere off screen, he produces a rose, and smells it.

Heh, roses. Almost on cue, someone in the chat post the infamous copypasta. It all happened that one time when Dante got a little too excited trying out a fleshlight from a sponsor. The dirty talk he declared as he fucked that thing became an iconic Face.T. meme, made all too perfect when he chucks a rose at the screen at the end. Needless to say, the sponsor was more than happy with the sales numbers, even though a lot of them probably didn't get used as intended.

What is the name of that fleshlight again?

"Lucifer? I've stretched mine out a little bit too much." Dante says with a coy smile. He runs the rose's petals between his fingers, fingers that have clearly lost their gloves at some point. The tips hit three hundred tokens. Dante pulls his arms out of his coat, letting the garment drape over the chair as he lounged. "Honestly, I'm hoping to get one of those latest models where you guys can control the pulse of the thing with your tips. Would you like that?"

Several in chat scream yes.

"You would like that, huh? What'd you like to do to me? Have me in a ring while the thing zaps my dick? Vibe me in the backdoor while I'm tied up?" Dante bites his own thumb as he talks. The other flicks at a nipple before grabbing his crotch. "I'm pretty excited to see where that all goes."

Someone drops two hundred tokens. _Is Vergil really your twin???_ The message asks.

Dante sighs a bit, hands falling away from his sensitive bits. "Do we really have to talk about that now? Kills the mood." He pouts at the screen. Chat doesn't seem too sympathetic though, and eggs him to answer the question. "How about this. We'll make tonight part QnA. Every hundred tokens from now to one thousand, I pick a question to answer. Starting off with this one: Yeah, we're twins."

Tips from all over start pouring in. Another hundred gets enmassed.

"He's the older one. I'm prettier though, and have the bigger dick."

Someone drops another two hundred. "Yeah, he obviously knows I do this. It's not the only thing I do though. I've got some businesses I manage with friends." Dante scratches his chin. "He doesn't just do those ASMR vids either. He's does a bunch of other stuff. Only started here because we decided to have a bet about something. Nope, can't tell you guys what it is. It'll effect the results." He sticks his tongue out at the audience with a wink.

A regular that you recognize from the fandom drops a hundred, asking him to flash his butt. Dante takes his sweet time rolling out of the chair. He gets up so slowly you swear he's doing it to show off his back musculature.

"A collaboration? You do realize this is my brother we're talking about right?" The sound of clinking belt buckle and pants unzipping are heard. Instead of easing them away, Dante's trousers drop to his knees. "Oops, didn't meant to do that." He says cheekily, bending over at the waist to moon the camera before pulling his pants up. You swear he jiggled and let those ass muscles clap before he redressed. "Anyway, like... Vergil won't even let me near his precious sound equipment to practice the drums or guitars. No way he'll let me into his studio if I so much as go in shirtless."

_You play the drums and guitar???!!_ Chat explodes.

"Yeah, and bass. I'm a one man band." Dante kicks off his boots. "I mean, if you guys figure out where my bar is, maybe you might be lucky enough to catch me there helping out a gig. Don't get weird though, what we do here, I don't do offline. And if you get handsy, I've got some of the scariest bouncers around. She'll throw a motorbike at you if she must."

He finger guns at the camera. Most of the chat guns back. You notice a drop in viewership count. Guess people are leaving now that they got their questions answered.

"Now, think that's enough questions answered for one evening... And we've hit a thousand tokens on tips! Thanks, sugars and honies." He blows a kiss again at a camera. "You all know what that means... hit the record, baby!" Dante says as he does his celebratory dance, pulling a cowboy hat from off screen to put on his head.

The man can do it all alright, moonwalk, the worm, pop and lock. What you stare at though is the motion of his swaying hips. It's mesmerizing, both the movements and the thought of what he might be capable of doing with that movement. At the climax of the music, he rips his pants away with a flourish (guess they were tearaways after all!), and drops the hat just in time to cover his junk as he takes a bow.

"Well, that was quite an evening." He rolls the hat back onto his head, showing a very, very, small thong, black with a devil D on it. "Think we'll go into VIP hour from here on?"

 

* * *

 

_[Wakemeupwakemeupinside]: Damn those were some rude ass people tonight._

_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: Yeah, a lot of Vergil's fans left as soon as they got their answers._

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: Telling off the one I know already_

 

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: NVM, they're still around. They want me to_ _update them on what Dante is doing._

_[Imaranchsaladeatme]: LOL STEAL HIS FANS DANTE_

_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: STEAL THEM WITH THE POWER OF YOUR DICK_

"You guys are naughty as hell," Dante shakes his head as he pulls the cam closer to the bed, putting it on the side, pointing towards the center "Don't worry about Vergil's groupies. I've never listened to his vids, but they obviously appeal to some folks. That said, no live updates, please. I want you to have all your attention on me, okay?" He flops down onto the bed, back against the cushions. "I want your undivided attention, right, here." He runs a hand down his chest, past the navel, to the slight bulge. You've seen his package enough times though to know he's not at all aroused yet. That thong wouldn't stand a chance if he was.

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: Alright, cowboy, you have my attention. Now you're gonna behave?_

"Depends." Gods, Dante is such a brat. "Depends on what you want me to do."

_[Imaranchsaladeatme]: So, riders, how we wrangling this stallion tonight?_

_[Wakemeupwakemeupinside]: He's been almost too good._

_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: Yeah, too much work telling you what to do Dante. Tonight, you tell yourself what to do.  
_  
"I get to decide, huh?" Dante muses, one hand massaging his cock and balls while the other runs along a hairy thigh. "Could I get a little help here? Like, tell me, what do you want to do me, if you could have anything."

_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: LOL DICK ME OBVIOUS_

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: Hey hey, let me go first. I got a good one.  
_

The others waited on you to type your idea.

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: I'll put you in a dick cage, and walk you around with a chain, leading you by the dick.  
_

Dante reads it, and draws a sharp breath

"Damn. Never took you to be that kind of person, cow girl." Dante is a little more fired up now. He reaches under the thong, eager for some skin-to-skin contact. The other hand goes up to his chest to stroke his chest nipple to nipple. "What else you guys got?"

_[Imaranchsaladeatme]: You got nice nipples. I wanna suck on those. Nip them between my teeth. Give them a good hickey._

"Nice," Dante breathes. "I sure like to get a good tease up here. What about down here, then?" _  
  
[Wakemeupwakemeupinside]:_ _Show us the goods first Dante. :)_

Dante reluctantly grunts, before peeling off the thong off his person. He holds the fabric between his teeth as he kneels and turn to face the camera some more. "How's this?" He says, throwing his head back, one hand on the hip, the other slowly stroking his enlarged-yet-to-be-stiff length.

_[Imaranchsaladeatme]_ _: I wanna lick you like a popsicle._

"Oh that's--

_[Imaranchsaladeatme_ _]: And suck it like a juicy ass lollipop. Bet you taste like strawberries._

"Hey, how'd you know that." Dante chuckles. His hips begins to thrust a little into his hand. You can see his mouth part slightly

_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]:_ _Yeah, just like that, baby. Rock those hips. Make sure you get the full length._

Dante spits into the hand he is not using, and switches. The slight amount of lubrication makes his work easier as he grips from under, making sure to get as much of the underside of his dick brushing against his palm as possible. Not finding the stimulation quite enough, he grasps his balls, kneading them between his free hand. "What... what else do you have?"

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: Remember how you were such a brat that friend spanked you until you were screaming? You need another one of those.  
_  
"Ah, yes. Sorry the mistress isn't available lately." Dante starts stroking himself upward, instead of forward. He slowly moves back to lean against the pillows. You see him reach for the bedside table, fishing several items out. The first is a bottle of lubrication. He held himself up as he drips the probably cold liquid onto the tip of his length. He nearly hisses when he pulls his foreskin back to let some of that lubrication get under there

_[Wakemeupwakemeupinside]: Oh I remember that._ You _know what was also good? The pegging. Hottest thing ever._

_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: Yeah. Dante, you need to get pegged again._

"I know. Exactly why I pulled out the lub." Dante answers, his voice straining a bit. The hand that is now slick moved past his balls, past the perineum, to where the sun don't shine. He pressed a finger in with a gasp. "Damn, I'm really not the most flexible person in the world. If you were here, how'd you prepare me?"

_[Imaranchsaladeatme]_ _: A plug of course. the bigger the better._  
  
Dante grunts approvingly, as he inserts a second finger.

_[Wakemeupwakemeupinside]: I'd use my hand. Put my finger right where that prostate is.  
_

There is a shudder in Dante's body. Clearly, he just hit the spot mentioned.  
  
_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: Vibrator, definitely. Make you cum without even touching yourself._

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: Rim you good with my tongue. I'd eat your ass out.  
_

Dante is breathing rapidly now, his toes curling as his fingers twistes and curves. Before long, he stops his manual handling, and reaches for the realistic dildo that is waiting by the bottle of lube. You watch, gaze unwavering, as he draws it across his tongue hungrily, taking it fully into his mouth, making his throat bulge a little before he bobbed his head back and forth, slurping as he tried to wet the toy as much as possible. Once he thinks he has done enough, he pulls it out of his mouth with a breathy pop, and positions the toy at his backdoor.

"May I?" He asks, if only to be polite and let you VIPs know he still knows this is a show. The moan that comes out of him as he pushes in sends tingles down your torso. "Oh FUCK that's good." He pushes the dildo in until he couldn't go any further, then tucks the end beneath himself, pinning it in place with his own weight. His hands now goes back to stimulating his now rock-hard penis and running freely up and down his front. Three strokes is more than enough for his eyes to turn upward before they closed entirely.

His hair, bobbing up and down, starts sticking to his face from the sweat. There is a sheen to his body that wasn't there before, and you know it's not just from the lub he used. Everynow and then, Dante parts his legs back open again, making sure that you, the audience, gets the best front row view of him grinding on a dick while jerking himself off. Sometimes he would throw a wink or smirk in the camera's direction, but those are decreasing by the minute as pleasure slowly built up.  
  
Finally, his breathing reaches an erratic hick, and the synchronized motion he had before of grinding and stroking becomes wild, almost spazzing. He practically frowns as he steals a look in the camera's direction. "Can...can I come now?" He asks.  
  
_[DickmeDantei'mfertile]: Oh no, no way, not yet. You're not spilling all the seed onto yourself until we say so._

_[Imaranchsaladeatme] _:I think you can do much, much more.__

Dante whines, chocking up as it turns into a heavy pant. "Come-- come on, sugars, let me have at it."

_[Wakemeupwakemeupinside]: Nu-uh. Not unless you do something._

"What is it?" Dante looks like he was practically in pain as he quickly asks between loud gasps. He now has his dick gripped in one quickly stroking hand, while the other reached behind to pump the dildo into his prostate. Both are a blur of motions.

_[Ride'emcowgirl]: You want to cum_?

"Yes!"

_Then beg._

There is a gritted growl of defiance.

_Beg us for permission_.

Dante fights with himself as he is on his knees. He struggles against the assault of pleasure from both in front and behind that he is inflicting upon himself, almost as if begging was too much to ask for.  
  
In the end, he breaks down.

"Alright! I'll do it. Please, my sugars and honies, please! I beg you." His plea is nearly a sobbing shout. "I beg you to let me cum!"

_Go ahead, cowboy._

His climax has Dante screaming as he arched back, falling onto his back while he's still bent at the knee. You watch as ropes of white shoot up and splashes onto the man's own abdomen and chest. His hips twitch and shake uncontrollably, and his eyes clearly rolled up until you can only see white.

As quickly as it happened, he collaspes in a heap onto the bed, breathing hard. The dildo he has popped out as his orgasm squeezes it out of his body.

You, and the the other VIPs, leave a hefty tip for the performance. Frankly, it's probably one of the best yet, even better than that pegging one.

"I think... I think I'm going to straight to bed tonight." Dante breathes. He is so out of it you barely hear his goodnight before he turns the camera off.


	2. Holiday Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of weeks after Dante's livestream, it is now the holiday season... or just a little past it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the front half of Vergil's chapter, but I've had it sitting in the drafts for so long, and given the holiday season, I thought I might as well just drop it out there.
> 
> Nothing NSFW, just lots of silliness. :)

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Hey yo did ya catch MotivationalPoet's first livestream?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Heck yes

Totally skipped out on holiday pay just so I can make it

 

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Damn, lucky you

I had to work for the entire holiday period. Missed basically EVERYTHING because customers.

At least I got paid enough to keep my membership to Dante for an entire year.

What did I miss?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Oh you missed EVERYTHING ;D

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Like what?

Hello?

You still there?

Don't leave me hanging here pal

I only got so much air

Hello???

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Chillax. Was just tabbed out for a moment.

To summarize, it was pretty casual honestly

Just him using his directional mic and all

But but but! Get who was also on? ;D

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

What

No, no way

NOOOOOOOO I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE HAD JUST ONE DAY OFF

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

My condolences. Have a screen shot?

[DANTE NO 1.jpg]

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Is he... is he trying to lick the mic?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Oh yeah. He was totally misbehaving through the entire stream.

Like Vergil will be checking something and he'll try and flirt with chat

Or he'll randomly start playing his guitar

Or suddenly do a metal head scream in the back, rip my eardrums

Vergil says he was only putting up with it cause he lost the bet

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

What bet?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Shit, I forgot to mention that didn't I

So remember how Dante said that he had a bet with Vergil and all?

Well, the day of the livestream was the day after the bet closed

Apparently Vergil betted he could get more subscribers than Dante by doing ASMR vids only

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Seriously? SFW vids on BERYL'S online portal? *eye roll emoji*

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Hey, he got me to sub! (Ehehe, I wouldn't mind subbing for him...)

Anyway, that's why he even allowed Dante near his mic

Cause he lost a bet

OH OH OH THERE WERE PUNISHMENTS TOO FOR HIM

Hold on let me check the official screen grabs posted

[Vergiltherednosereindeer.jpg]

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

*joy emoji spam*

THE NEON ANTLERS

WTF IS THAT ON HIS FACE

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

LIPSTICK

So like Dante's friends were also betting

And like two women barged into the room halfway through the stream

They were like "hey you said we could do anything to the loser for a minute"

Vergil's all like WTF but the chat was like DO IT DO IT DO IT

So he caved...

And so one of them put him in the reindeer antlers

And the other started drawing on his face

There was going to be glowing red nose too but the lady didn't get back in time

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...] 

He looks either like... the angriest reindeer in history ever, or the saddest X'D

I can't stop laughing haaaaaaaalp

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Ya no chat died too

I think someone tipped him $100 because we all felt so bad for laughing

Apparently he forgot to shut the donation system off

Wasn't intending to get paid though so he says he's donating it to charity

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Awwwww that's nice of him

Wait hold up

oh. my. god.

holy shit.

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

What?

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

You follow them on Moments?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Account got hacked, so not any more *weary emoji*

Why what is there?

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

[Link to image gallery]

* * *

[Photo of mic on a mic stand covered in... mysterious white-ish gel]

@MotivationalPoetV: DAAAAANTTTEEEEEE #wtf #annoyinglittlebrother #scum

@ladythebabethebaby: Dante! WHAT THE HELL?!

@electrifyingwitchbitch: Seriously Dante?

@redleathercowboy69: its sugar frosting!!!!! i swear!!!!!!!!!!!

@redleathercowboy69: moms cinnamon buns were fresh out of the oven and i had to have a bite

@electrifyingwitchbitch: Oh okay then we're... fine, I guess

@ladythebabethebaby: I don't know man, still sketchy

@redleathercowboy69: ask vergil i swear it really is frosting!!!!!!!!

@MotivationalPoetV: I know what it is THE LEAST YOU COULD DO WAS CLEAN UP WITH A TISSUE

* * *

[Photo of Dante standing in the doorway of the bathroom with an enraged look. His hair and hands are dyed black]

@MotivationalPoetV: Gotcha. #watersoluable #nightmareblack #notaproductplacement

@redleathercowboy69: i had to take three showers bro. THREE.

@MotivationalPoetV: At least you got it all out in the end UNLIKE THE FROSTING

@evaevalgina: Boys, who's cleaning up the guest bathroom tonight?

@MotivationalPoetV: I'll... do that, mother.

@therealVfrom5: is that... is that my hair dye???

@redleathercowboy69: so thats where he got it from...

* * *

[Photo of Vergil in the kitchen. He's wearing an apron that says DILF and pointing a knife at the camera, obviously mid-threat]

@redleathercowboy69: when your fans find out you have a son #hedidntknowwhathemeant #andthenitoldhim

@MotivationalPoetV: Delete this, or I will...

@redleathercowboy69: or youll what verge not on moms carpet

@MotivationalPoetV: Oh you'll see... you just wait and see

@electrifyingwitchbitch: I have a bad feeling about this

* * *

[Photo collage of various holiday dishes. Inexplicably, they all have olives in them. Even the strawberry sundae.]

@redleathercowboy69: VERGIL WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #notthesundae #itwasinnocent

@MotivationalPoetV: And now... we're even

@ladythebabethebaby: Vergil you are NOT cooking tomorrow are you?

@evaevalgina: They're banned from the kitchen for the next 24 hours

@electrifyingwitchbitch: Oh thank goodness

* * *

 

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

I can't

I'm dead

Bury me

What is oxygen

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Wait, there's more if you check the others

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

 WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE

Wait I can only take so much--

* * *

[Video begins in the living room with Dante standing far far behind Eva...

_Dante: Hey mom, I'm your favourite, right?_

Scene change to kitchen with Dante peeking from above an open fridge door...

_Dante: Com'on, say I'm your favourite..._

Scene change to a sofa that Eva is sitting on. Dante is peeking out from underneath...

_Dante: I'm your favourite child..._

Scene change to what is most definitely the inside of a bathroom door.

 _Dante: *from the outside* Definitely your favourite._ ]

@evaevalgina: My youngest, ladies and gentlemen <3

@MotivationalPoetV: Mother, Dante's going to stay five if you keep on coddling him like this

@redleathercowboy69: as if u didn't stay five urself verge you toddler

@evaevalgina: Boys, gods forbid I WILL confiscate your phones

@electrifyingwitchbitch: Oo! I can hold onto them in the meantime!

@ladythebabethebaby: Yeah, I wanna see if Dante's got any new girls on his phone

@redleathercowboy69: changing my passcode

@MotivationalPoetV: Don't forget to delete your browser history. You always forget to do that.

* * *

[Video of Dante and Vergil wrestling outside on the lawn. The two are obviously laughing and having fun--

_??? male voice: DAD STOP BULLYING UNCLE DANTE_

Vergil twists his head out from Dante's grip just in time to see who it is but...

_Vergil: Wait, Nero, don't--!_

Video cuts out as Nero leaps in with his fist raised.]

@ladythebabethebaby: Oops I forgot to tell them @badboyinblack was arriving today :P

* * *

[Video of Dante sitting in a lawn chair, with a cut lip, getting patched up by Eva

_Dante: Ow, that hurts, mom. OW._

_Eva: Stay still now, Dante.  
_

_Dante: But it hurts!_

Video swings to a selfie view of Trish rolling her eyes]

@electrifyingwitchbitch: YFW your boss got backhanded by his nephew "by accident"

@badboyinblack: I meant to punch dad okay?! I'm sorry?!

@redleathercowboy69: i knew you were gonna be deadweight

@badboyinblack: I TAKE THAT BACK FIGHT ME DANTE

* * *

[Video appears to be a continuation of what happened right after Nero jumped Dante and Vergil.

Dante is lying on the grass, while Nero has Vergil wrestled to the ground in a headlock.

_Nero: Submit!_

_Vergil: NEVER!_

_Nero: GOD DAMMIT DAD TAP OUT--!_ ]

@WeaponGeniusGoldstein: When you forget your son's on the college wrestling team #goknightsgo

* * *

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Hello? You still there?

 

 

Um, please tell me you're still alive...

 

 

 

 

Hello????????????????

 

 

 

 

 

You ghosting me now? Seriously???

 

 

 

 

 

...Okay for real, are you okay, it's been like 30 minutes of nothing is everything okay?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

I'm dead

dead dead dead

bury me in my sunday best

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Oh phew thank gods

What did you in, Dante being a crybaby or Vergil getting wrestled to the ground?

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

Neither, actually, but...You REALLY want to know what did me in?

Do you really Really REALLY REALLY REAAAAALSIES want to know???

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

Oh stop being so dramatic

[message unsent] what can be more dramatic than

[Poetgroupie99 is trying to share a link with you, do you wish to open it?]

[Link:"I Rant About My Brother for Ten Minutes While You Listen Sympathetically" Video length: 25:16. WARNING: NSFW.]

[ride'emcowgirl is typing...]

WHY IS IT 25 mins and NSFW???!!!!

What what is this wha how what wah huh wHAAAAAAAA

[Poetgroupie99 is typing...]

;D Enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I wonder what Vergil posted... Find out next time on-- *transmission suddenly cut*

**Author's Note:**

> Part three featuring Vergil coming out... someday, maybe...


End file.
